“You would be even hotter if you ______.”
It doesn’t matter if you’re talking about wearing sexier clothes, getting a new hair style or working out. Voicing anything to be desired from your partner’s current looks is a surefire trip down the fast lane to relationship hell.
Calm Before the Storm
This two-word demand becomes toxic in pretty much any context. However, every woman will tell you a routine argument will turn into a full-blown hurricane of anger should you use it on her when you think she is upset. You haven’t seen her truly upset until you tell her to calm down.
Challenge His Masculinity
Ladies, nothing will put your guy on the defensive faster than questioning his manliness. Even if a lifetime of romantic movies has given you a nostalgic ideal of how a man should act or look, don’t be so trite as to demand he “be a man” or “grow a pair.” What you’ll get in return is the classically macho attitude you asked for – cursing, drinking, fast cars and plenty of sex – but he won’t be wasting any of it on you.
“You wouldn’t understand.”
Don’t ever try to shrug off your girlfriend in a conversation by saying she wouldn’t understand. She may not be obsessed with ‘Bioshock Infinite,’ football, craft beer and ‘The Walking Dead’ quite like you are, but she’ll be damned if she’s going to let you tell her she’s not smart enough to join the conversation.
“Do you like me?”
Asking your man if or why he likes you on a daily basis will end badly sooner or later. To repeatedly question why he is with you is characteristic of an insecurity so deep that he eventually will be forced to reconsider whether you are worth the trouble. It’s totally natural for each partner to have a few doubts in a relationship, but obsessively hammering them home will ultimately sabotage whatever was going well in the first place. He’s with you, isn’t he? Then yes, he likes you and is attracted to you.
“I wish my _____ was better for you.”
Just like constantly questioning why he likes you will eventually cause him to obsess about the very same question and seek answers elsewhere, being overly insecure about your least favorite body part and constantly saying how you wish you could be better will ultimately take its toll. Most men realize every woman is insecure about something, and your guy wants nothing more than to support you and make you feel loved in spite of your insecurities. Unfortunately, if you can’t learn to love even your least favorite part of your body, your constant campaign of self-loathing is going to turn out exactly how you feared it would.
Compare Her to Another Woman
“I never realized it before, but you look just like _____.”
Avoid any temptation to compare your girlfriend to another woman. Even if you’re intention is to flatter her, pointing out her similarities to a celebrity, one of her friends or a stranger on the street is a terrible idea. It should go without saying, but comparing her to your ex is the dumbest move you can make.
Compare to Parent
“You are just like your mom/dad.”
No matter how much a woman loves her mom and a man loves his dad, being told they are turning out just like said parent is one of the last things they wish to hear. Even people who have wonderful relationships with their parents harbor fears of becoming exactly like those parents for one reason or another. Even if you mean it as a compliment, telling her she is exactly like her mom will cause the pet peeves her mom does to race to the front of her mind.
Bored to Tears
“I don’t care.”
Cutting off your boyfriend when he’s in the middle of speaking by saying “I don’t care” is guaranteed to strike him as inconsiderate and cause just as volatile of a backlash as if he demanded you “calm down.” Nothing neuters someone quite like implying his opinions are meaningless and his words are wasting your time.
“Remember that one time when…”
Everybody likes to claim a good sense of humor is one of the most desirable things in a partner. Unfortunately, very few couples end up having partners with the exact same sense of humor.
One partner’s lighthearted teasing can quickly be perceived as judgment or criticism. Humor is an essential part of a worthwhile relationship, but things won’t work out if one partner’s sense of humor always comes at the expense of his more sensitive other. This becomes truest when the teasing is done in a public setting. Even the most gentle teasing can turn into a proper firestorm if done around others instead of in private.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
Even if your man has never changed a tire, made lasagna, or did his own taxes in his life, don’t you dare think about asking him if he’s sure he knows what he’s doing when he’s giving it a shot. Of course, this advice goes both ways, and the best move you can make is to be supportive and instead ask what you can do to help.
“Why do I have to do everything?”
It’s almost a law of human nature that we all think we’re the hardest worker getting the most done with the least amount of help. When you are in a relationship, you have to trust and empathize. Just because you feel like you’re the one doing all of the heavy lifting doesn’t mean your partner isn’t carrying his weight. Think long and hard about the effort each of you put forth in every aspect of your day before you casually lament how much you do and how little he does.
“My phone was dead.”
Even if your battery hit 0% and then your phone fell into the toilet for good measure, don’t even try to tell your girlfriend you didn’t text her back because your phone was dead. She knows if you truly cared about her and wanted to talk to her, you would find a way to talk to her. Come up with a better excuse, or don’t bother going home at all.
Demanding Space (Relationship Killer Pt. 1)
“I think I need some space.” or “I think we should see other people.”
There are no bigger break-up clichés than saying, “I need some space” or “I think we should see other people.” Your intention may be to slow things down without the formality of breaking things off, but the very utterance of one of these awful clichés kills any hope of things working between the two of you. You better be sure you are 100% ready to move on before you drop one of these bombs.
Future Uncertainty (Relationship Killer Pt. 2)
“I don’t know if this is going to work out.”
There’s no point in being in a relationship any more if you’re convinced it’s not going to work out. The funny thing is there is never any assurance things will work out in a relationship, whether it’s the first date or the 20th wedding anniversary. In fact, there is no assurance anything will work out in your entire life. That’s the whole point of living: to do your best and see how it unfolds. However, the second you voice that uncertainty in relationship is the second everything starts becoming an even more daunting uphill climb for the long haul.